nothing of consequence.....

I don't know what it is about the winding roads that take me over the mountains around the lake and to my valley home. They somehow draw me to the mountains making me ponder and question life and reason and being. I love the time I spend in my car with the country station turned up too loud and growing and changing scenery passing me by. This last hurried trip home found me with much on my mind, and as I drove home I mulled things over and sang with the radio and just enjoyed the drive. I spent some very much needed girl time with some of my very best friends from growing up, it was refreshing to be in their presence and to giggle and cuddle and eat way to much sugar and just talk. After heading for home I lay awake in bed for some time just thinking about all that has changed in my life in the last year. From the way I am, from experence i've been through, and people who were and who still are or aren't in my life anymore. It made me feel so small. Like there is so much out there in this big old world. That there is so much that is beyond our control, and why are some peoples lives so utterly blessed while others seem to never find relief from the thngs that bring them hell. It truly made my heart hurt and really made me think, there is so much that has changed and I'm at this new point in my life. I'm growing up, and I guess maybe even maturing!? I can't help feel some pangs of fear for what the future holds for me, and as I stagger forward I try not to look back, not to keep my eyes focued on the rearview mirror. For life is for living. The past is to be learned from not lived in. I need to love the people who are still in my life and those that I know will always be in my life...So I'm going to continue taking too many pictures, laughing til I cry. Crying til I laugh, over use "I love You" work and pray and keep loving the life the the good Lord has blessed me with....